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We've all been in a position at some stage in our lives where betrayal has been experienced. It doesn't really matter the scale of it rather the back stabbing hurt and false treachery that goes along with it. It feels horrid! So what if I were to explain why its really good for our soul?

First lets understand the main reasons surrounding betrayal. This is where I introduce you to the JERK formulae.

J - Jealousy
E - Exaggeration
R - Ridiculous
K - Kicks

The big J's are probably one of the main reasons betrayal is experienced. Some people have jealousy in their nature. Now lets not judge even though its really difficult if you've received shit from them, it must be a living hell to always be jealous of others! Somewhere within them they feel inadequate so comparing themselves to others forms toxic vibes which then manifest into jealousy, then ultimately betrayal. Quick go get the sage, incense, room cleansers - negative vibes be gone.

Exaggerating the truth is another form of betrayal. Its amazing what we can learn about ourselves through the gossip of others. Yes it really hurts at the time however, the truth ALWAYS surfaces and those who have participated in a bitch fest are left eating humble pie. As Buddha says 'only 3 things are real, the sun, the moon and the truth'. Ain't that the truth.

Keeping the word ridiculous in our minds is the perfect tool for coping with betrayal because that's what the whole situation is, absolutely ridiculous. If others are going to form an opinion about you, then they need to head to the book shelves and buy Gabby Bernstein's 'Judgement detox' book. Release judgement about yourself then you can release judgement about others. Simple. Oh and its an amazing book!

Some people get their kicks from seeing others unhappy or in pain. We DO NOT need these people in our lives. Unfortunately it is only when their mask slips through an act of betrayal, we see the real person. At that stage cut cords and banish them from your life. F.O.R.E.V.E.R.

When we eventually see the JERK in betrayal, we can allow ourselves to have a soul revival based on love, truth and forgiveness. Not forgetting gratitude that we weren't the back stabbing bastard in the first place.

Being aligned with what it felt like to be betrayed gives us the opportunity to not do it to others. Having that tiny bit of knowledge on our life journey enables our soul to grow and embrace happiness and freedom.


The wisdom of LOVE

We all love LOVE. It is contagious, life changing, transformational - nothing can match it or replace it. It is the essence of life and living, the ultimate feel good, be good, do good. So how do we learn love?

Does the first experience of love come from the womb? Or is it something that is learned as we travel through life? Whatever theory resonates with you, I'm sure you'll agree love feels amazing.

As I listen to my music on shuffle 'what the world needs now is love sweet love' and 'where is the love' plays and I think about the whole concept of love and the spiritual understanding of it.

All love needs to begin with self love. If we do not have the capacity to love ourselves then how on earth can we love another? If we try to love without self love we are not sharing 100% of who we are, which unfortunately creates a tainted love. Yes, there is the concept of falling in and out of love, we are human after all, so is there a formula to love?

For me as I enter my 40 years on earth, learning and growing within my love realm triggers different understandings, mostly that love and wisdom go hand in hand. Wisdom evolves from healed pain resonates so much with me. Until we heal we cannot fully love. Don't get me wrong I know its not all a bed of roses and blips happen, falling out of love also happens, yet when we add copious amounts of self love into the mixture, the recipe of love is renewed. Bigger, better and more authentic. The key is to trust the healing process and let time work its magic.

So here are my tried and tested top 5 tips to keep self love flowing:

GRATITUDE - focus on what you have rather than what you don't have.

UNDERSTANDING - life lessons happen and that's how you grow.

FORGIVENESS - stop being so hard on yourself.

COMPASSION - judging yourself means you judge others - don't.

KINDNESS - do an act of self kindness each day.

Following these 5 tips each day will soon dissolve any toxic vibes in and around you. Remember we are here to love and be loved and that's a beautiful thing!

A moment of truth

A moment of truth

It has been a while since I blogged. I have lots to say, share and always have a story to tell, yet I struggled with the idea of having an opinion. I was looking around me and noticing so many people with strong opinions, some helpful, some really unhelpful. Opinions were disturbing me, yes a weird and uncomfortable thing to ponder but extremely true. There seemed too many shit and unwise choices being made on naive opinions. Sigh.

Sitting in the stillness of my mindful cave and deep in meditation I found an answer. I love a cave moment to myself. The realisation that we are all a product of our life exposure and experiences can determine our opinions and innately how we interact with ourselves and others. Bang. Thats it I thought. Erm not really, it was touching on something but not satisfying the depth of my understanding.

Into the cave I go.

The quote 'only three things are real, the sun, the moon and the truth - Buddha' jumped out at me.

Of course it did! Thank you Siddhartha Gautama...

For me, our individual truth is real, it is what we have learned in our lives so far. It is legitimate, recognisable, comfortable yet uncomfortable and holds great substance in all our choices and opinions. Truth for each of us is different because we are unique - a beautiful mixture of chaos, sanity and often repeated insanity. It is perfect. It is how we are meant to be. It is how we learn.

My mind kept asking me about discriminating opinions and offered answers in the same surreal moment. Within our truth can be judgements, hate, ego and escapism. It is the human default setting. When our energy is in this space, we cannot help but exude a negative vibe which is then expressed through our truth and all that we are. We can run from it but we can't hide it.

Can a place of negative opinion and deluded truth be a happy place as ignorance is bliss? On the surface and possibly wearing a good mask it might be - yet like any place of ego, the truth will always show itself in its rawest and purest form. Checking for levels of LOVE and PEACE within, is a good way to gage happiness.

Where is this head of mine going...?

Getting mirrored and embracing the mirror effect jumps to mind. What is being reflected back to us? What are we learning? Our truth is shown to us on a daily basis through our interactions with each other. It instantly shows us all we need to know about ourselves. It is our greatest learning, let's not forget we belong to each other and that some people are happily deluded. It is how we all evolve; our gift as spiritual beings having a human experience.

Come back Nat.

Alas, I found peace in that soul searching moment. Happy sigh.

By adding a healthy dose of ACCEPTANCE the ultimate recipe can be created; living happily together on planet earth. Sounds good to me. Or am I the deluded one?

Different strokes for different folks.


Natalie Alexander

"All great changes are proceeded by chaos"